I was having the worst day today I was so stressed and accomplishing these letters made me proud but once I called mom I went straight to Panic Attack -She continues to keep threatening me with her and her drunkness -I was scared and hopeless cause I feel like I might have to using my savings to pay them -Felt like more delays in my projects Behavor: -I told mom that im doing things my way and if she wants to be a jerk then so be it. So what can fix it?) Emotions: -When I first Heard her say she won't pay if it's not done her way, I literally wanted to cry. Perhaps they can solve Problems that can be bought but emotional problems is something that money can never fix it. Once you take their money they have the ability to Control your life and your anxiety. I wish i never have to feel like being controlled by someone again by money -(Thought for reflection: How do Gold Diggers think money is freedom and happiness when in Reality its just a cage that people put you in. Thought: Omg Im going to have to use all my savings to pay them for helping me cause mom mom was being rude and controlling. These People that I hired Took their time to help me today (4hrs) and to help me write these letters that have been haunting me cause I know if I don't complete them then my Hobbies and happiness will be delayed. Then when i said i wasn't going to do that she threatened to call Carolina and tell her that if its not done her way they don't get paid. And if the Handwriting doesnt match then you have to redo it. Then She also said you have to redo every letter. She said If you print out address labels (then called addy labels tacky) Then she wont pay anyone. When I called She called the letter tacky. My mom started making fun of the girl who wrote it. Because of the Fact that the people who I hired wrote "rob and guest" on letter. You could tell that they were drunk already. I was proud of our work and what we accomplished so I took a photo and sent it to mom and dad. We had Finnished all but like 5/10 letters. (the more people the faster things will get done. Take manners as an example: their are 2 ways to use your manners My Money= freedom Money from others= trapped and controlled Reflection: Situation: I was tryig to find a way to finnish my deb 100+ deb letters before I leave to michigan to pack my things ( A last min trip that mom set up) So I hired 3 people to help me write my letters. INFORMAL (of a person or relationship) demanding a lot of attention. Bottom line our passions are our passions, judged or not judged we should be able to express them the way we want to express them High Maintenance: needing a lot of work to keep in good condition. who knew that fashion is a crime to society, you get labeled as gold digger, shallow, etc when people refuse to even look at the person who who they are rather than what they wear -Conc. People label and see me as high maintenance and refuse to see me beyond that -How it made me feel unvalued -how I believed I was unloveable because of my passion -How people told me I Don't deserve what i have -How people told me I need a wealthy man and heaven forbids if i can't find one -A leach -Too greedy to fall in love for the right reasons So how do I view myself now? -How I view Fashion (its a act of love and self love, Why should we be ashamed for it?) -Makes me feel confident -Makes me feel beautiful -I feel more like myself when i dress up rather than dressing down.
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